After having such a good week and weekend, I probably should have expected that I would begin this day falling on my face. My brain temporarily decided that standing up was too difficult a task for me, and I spent probably a good three minutes trying to conjure the strength to fight off dizziness and fatigue so that I could stand up. It was basically a one man Three Stooges routine.

Why I got up instead of going back to bed is a mystery even to me since I had absolutely nowhere to go.

It was four in the morning, and I had been middle-of-the-road as far as the whole "going to school" thing was anyway. When I discovered that I was running a pretty decent fever in addition to this, my original decision became cemented.

The good news, school-wise, is that unless I fail every class I'm taking this term, I will more than likely graduate with little to no clean-up afterwards. I'm trying to keep the fact that I'm slightly above "mildly retarded" from going to my head, but the idea that I will soon be out of that horrendous building is more than a little exhilarating, though I am sort of at that point where I realize just how much I may miss school.

My brother's causing a whole lot of trouble at the homestead. My mom won't say much about it, but last night he "attempted suicide" (pretty sure it's just attention grabbing at this point) for the second time. He apparently took about ten sleeping pills or so, despite the fact that my mom was supposed to be monitoring his use of them. I don't know why he expected this amount to work considering he originally tried eight, and it's about the cheapest medicine of its type you can find. Bah.

Typing this is the most I've said or thought about it, so I think I'm just going to continue my whole "not thinking about it" routine.

This all may seem vaguely depressing when typed down, but I'm actually in a fairly decent mood. Earlier I drew a picture of a slug carrying a newspaper under his arm, smoking a cigarette, and wearing a little hat. He's smiling. I have named this piece "HAPPY SLUG".

Welp, should probably be heading out now.

Been getting into some old school horror movies. Checked out Funeral Home, a pretty rad copycat of Psycho, earlier, moving on to Bloody Wednesday (whose tagline promises me that I'll "PRAY FOR THURSDAY!") and the original Silent Night, Bloody Night. There's a bit of a theme here, I guess.

Speaking of horror, I just wrote my first real (horror) short story in over a year yesterday. Been making the rounds on 4chan, and the reactions are, surprisingly to me, mostly positive. Really means something considering that 4chan is... well, mostly assholes. Vindictive ones at that. I have a few issues with the story, but nothing that couldn't be easily fixed.

Once again, writing mostly for myself to keep the creative juices flowing. Or something.

I have an application for Borders/WaldenBooks. Never before have I felt so strongly that a piece of paper was... judging me.

"Do you have experience working in a retail environment?"
Unchecked.
"Do you have experience working in a distribution center or warehouse?"
Unchecked.
"May we contact your former employers?"
I have no former employers.
And so on.

Also, the guy who gave me it told me they have a very low turnover rate or whatever. Before leaving, he did tell me he thought it was at least worth a shot because "you never know". He might as well have tussled my hair and given me a lollipop. Oh well. Turning it in anyway. If  I don't get the job, so be it. There's other fish in the sea.

Probably be starting my script fairly late tonight. Only need to do a few pages (give or take) a day. Didn't realize until earlier that I am completely incompetent at writing if I am not mentally exhausted. My brain does this weird thing where it gets all hyperactive and ideas (good and bad) just start popping into it. Once I snag a good idea, it becomes strangely easy to focus. Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself. I already have the basic story outline done. The only thing that needs work is... everything else.

Been mildly bored. Rick and I talk a pretty decent amount - keeps me entertained. Also, got some games and movies and stuff. I guess things are okay, if a little slower than usual.

I came across a copy of the 1913 edition of the Catholic Encyclopedia online today. Despite not being Catholic and having no real interest in Catholicism, I have read a good deal of it. I... don't know why.

Everyone's doing RickRolls, and it's scaring me. I wanted to pull a prank on my family, but I'm pretty sure my mom would kill me. I made a big dummy out of some stuff around the house once, sat it on the toilet seat (lid down, of course), and left the door open a crack so no one would think anyone was using it. My mom found it and was somehow frightened by the thing. Much yelling ensued.

I think I'll stick to just turning her television to the Golf Channel whenever she leaves the room.






 

Figured I might as well write an entry now before the big, long nothingness. Hopefully, this will serve to clear out my head and pick up my writing skills a little.

I managed to scald a lab partner by blowing a lab candle out birthday-style. The hot wax flung onto the poor fellow’s hand. Fortunately, pretty much every other group had similar problems. The period ended with Mr. Smith just walking from table to table, scraping wax off of them with a ruler. He forgot to tell us how to properly put the candles out, you see, so I wasn’t completely alone in my stupidity. On the plus side, I was the only person who managed to cause bodily harm to someone else.

I’ve been reading Fahrenheit 451 during Psychology since they‘ve taken MAH BOY (Time magazine) away. It’s disappointing.

I’ve been invited to “roleplay Vietnam” with Drew and his associates. I actually briefly considered it but decided a polite decline would be for the best. There’s about a 55% chance I would be shot with an actual gun by a very stoned Drew or Alan, and, under such circumstances, I’m sure they’d only be charged with manslaughter. Also, it’s really not my thing anyway.

Today I was half-jokingly called an asshole because I very plainly insulted a person out loud after they had gotten done speaking. This person’s sole existence seems to center around being as intolerable as possible. It was a lame (and hardly all that offensive) joke, to be honest. Kelly asked us where we were all going over spring break and the gentleman said, “Over the rainbow.” I responded with a very audible and bitter, “That’s hardly a surprise.”

I’m not an outright bully or anything. It’s not like I’m going to beat him up or something. I’m sort of outspoken with how I feel about him (I share three classes in a row with him and sit near him in two - it‘s enough to keep from screaming in his face with the force of some big, Russian bear), and I like to play pranks. Certain people disapprove, I guess. I have trouble seeing how it makes me a completely bad person. I don’t know. It’s not a big deal or anything. I’ll just never get why it’s okay to talk about somebody behind their back, but being an outright ass to them is somehow the worst thing in the world.

Alan told me a few weeks or so ago that I was an asshole for allowing certain comments I made about a certain girl to be sent to her. I asked him if it would’ve been better/nicer if I’d just kept talking about her behind her back and pretending to like her face-to-face.

“Uh yeah, that’s much nicer.”

Whut.

Anyway, Rick’s gone to California, Cole’s going to Texas, Scott’s going to Alabama, I have no idea where Teddy currently is, and so on. This all means I’m pretty much going to be a homebody this Spring Break. I considered going to Tennessee, but there are things that need done here, and my cousins are all in school at the moment.

This lack of contact with the outside world is actually good in some ways. I’ve been only casually looking for a job over the past few weeks, but I’m going to really buckle down and find one. Trey thinks he can get me working with him - selling knives. I know, I know. Salesmen my age are the most despised people on earth, but there’s a lot worse I could be doing. Fast food, for one. Anyway, I’m still going to try and find a job in a department store or bookstore or something, but this is a nice fallback plan if they’re really interested in me and the money‘s decent.

Also, I am going to be taking part in April’s Script Frenzy. One hundred pages worth of script in one month. It’s doable, though I’m torn between two stories. I have to make my mind up soon, obviously.

Other than that, I suppose there’s a few movies and books and things I should be getting around to. Talking with Dave Wong about some sort of PWoT/Cracked project in the near future.

Looking at all this, I’ve written way too much.

It's weird how it doesn't even feel like the week has started.

Might have something to do with the fact that I pretty much spent the entire weekend at Rick's. We actually got his mom to drop us off at Fazoli's where we were served by the world's first robot capable of handing out breadsticks without the aide of a remote control. At one point, Rick and me were talking and she just leaned in (almost in a cartoonish way) and plopped one single breadstick down before scurrying off. I almost left a tip for that single act alone.

Rick and I then decided that it would be awesome to walk to Wal-Mart. When we got there, we discovered that Wal-Mart, and only Wal-Mart for some reason, is really, really fucking boring without more than two people. Also, I kept seeing this weird bearded guy in a leather jacket. It bothered me.

At some point, we climbed a mountain of snow and dirt. Rick ended up sliding off and into some mud. It was at this point that he decided that my shoes had been too clean for too long and remedied that by pushing me in the mud. This was more entertaining than it probably had any right being.

We walked to Target, which was much more fun than Wal-Mart. I had been staking out this broken display phone for some time and finally made my decision to steal it. As we were leaving the electronics department, I noticed a couple of employees who might have been watching us. Their dialogue was probably much like this:

"Why is the heavy one holding a display phone?"
"Is he going to try and buy it?"
"No. That - that would be ridiculous. It has 'NON-FUNCTIONING DISPLAY' written right on the side."
"Maybe he's illiterate. He looks sort of dumb."
"Well, he's certainly not stupid enough to be trying to steal that thing."
"Oh yeah, no one would be moronic enough to risk imprisonment over a broken phone."

And so we proudly walked out of the store with me waving my trophy victoriously over my head.

We walked to White Castle and then headed over to Dave's Video to check in on Jesska who was in dire need of hamburgers.

Monday rolled around, and I discover that I did much better in school than I previously thought. I ended up passing two classes I pretty much deserved to fail. After school, Rick, Jesska, and I went to Pizza King for the first time in ages. Rick and I decided that we now love Coheed & Cambria on some level and decided to sings bit of our version of "Welcome Home" for Jesska.

It now contains 100% more Mudkip.

We watched some CKY and the second Bridget Jones. Once again, Bridget made the fatal mistake of choosing Colin Firth over Hugh Grant. It's a sickness, really.

Tuesday arrives, and it becomes so icy that the school administration decides to actually let us out early (by about five minutes). What do Rick and me do? We go to his house. Played a bit of Rock Band before walking to Pizza Hut in the freezing rain.

It was pretty much worth it.

Thursday was pretty awesome. I was pretty much snow raped and completely unable to fight back. Rick's hands were coated in the finest gloves, while my hands, which I think the good lord intended to give to a twelve year old girl from Connecticut, were bare. This gave me one option: kick snow feebly at Rick in hope of somehow fending him off and keeping me from dying of frostbite.

And that I did.

Burger King warmed m'bones, and we retired to his house to watch the television masterpiece, Viva La Bam. My favorite is Phil. :) This is my decision, and I have made it.

There was a slight disappointment Friday Night when Cole decided the roads were too dangerous for us all to go out together. Apparently, he thinks stupid little things like having his car stay intact and staying alive are more important than his friends. Oh well. Rick and I managed to keep ourselves occupied at his house with the help of the internet. We also discovered that, with our voices decreased in pitch 16%, we sound like frat boys. Many recordings were made. Only two of these were even vaguely funny.

Jesska came over after work with CKY and Jackass 2. All and all, a pretty awesome double feature.

Yesterday was pretty rad, too. The Universe wanted to deny us Wendy's, but we prevailed in the end. After our epic voyage, we went back to Rick's to watch Bridget Jones's Diary. It was a fine movie, though I must say I can't approve of anyone ever choosing Colin Firth over Hugh Grant. Also, in keeping in line with characteristics I have that belong better to a twelve year old Connecticut girl, Rick and Jesska's fart seriously gross me out.

No more fartzez, pls.

So I finally confronted Christopher today. I wasn't sure what exactly I was expecting out of the whole ordeal, but I suppose it's satisfying enough.

Me and Rick decided to go looking for him shortly after I arrived at school. We spotted him sitting on some benches near the entrance. I had trouble spotting him, and Rick suggested we wait outside the Creative Writing room - Gilbert's first period class. We waited outside of it, and he eventually came walking by just minutes before class was about to start.

I was very blunt with him, questioning him as to when exactly I was either going to get my money or DVDs back, why he had been acting like such a douche, why he had dropped Jesska from his friend's list just for telling the truth in his comments section, why he had had sex with his dog, and for what godawful reason was he wearing his sister's polo (yes, he was actually wearing his sister's polo). Mr. King and a number of students getting into their lockers noticed the incident.

I told Chris that it would be wise to A) Stop having sex with animals  B) Quit acting like a douche and C) Bring my money or DVDs the following day.

He responded mostly with variations of "I'll bring 'em tomorrow" and said little else during the whole talk. He had a weird little flat smile, his eyes were narrowed in either frustration or confusion the whole time, and he did this weird scrunching thing with his face. When I was finally done with him, he wandered into his classroom and then immediately wandered back out and down a hallway. Class would be starting incredibly shortly - I wouldn't be surprised if he was late.

Something must have upset the poor fellow.

Rick is secluding himself so he can work on his FAWM TIMEZ, leaving me much time to turn myself into a literal layabout.

A guy from the Indiana Business College (why I even give a scam school the dignity of proper capitalization is beyond me) came to speak to my economics class today. He basically taught us about savings and interest, which I guess is supposed to be some sort of super secret reserved only for vampires and presidents or something (mayhaps... vampire presidents*). As I filled out the card he passed out for those of us who wish to be contacted by IBC (phone number, address, name: Chris Gilbert, guardian: Tippy Gilbert, etc.), I thought about what I want to do with my future.

How simple it all is.

I will be a lumberjack.

I'm not very muscular, but I'm surprisingly quick on my feet. This gives me an element of surprise over trees. I hate nature, and surely taking part in the Tree Holocaust will quench this hate. On the other hand, I do enjoy the wilderness so long as there are no wild animals or insects within my direct vicinity. Also, it can't be raining. Or snowing. I would prefer it if nature didn't have dirt, as well. I think plaid looks great when worn by the right people (i.e. me). When you're a lumberjack, you don't have to worry about disappointing people, and you probably don't spend all your time wondering if you're really as bad of a person as you think you may be.

When you're a lumberjack, you're a fucking lumberjack. You chop down trees, eat pancakes, and wear plaid. And have you ever seen a picture of a lumberjack who seems genuinely unhappy?

No. You never have. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to yourself.

I've also discovered that I may have a job in formal wear soon. This is great because one thing I'm known for is my good sense of fashion. Well, that and making noises that sound like a walrus is molesting Jim Breuer in a middle school locker room.

Welp, there's plenty of interesting stuff going on right now that I can't really remember. I think God is currently trying to destroy my house with massive winds. This may have something to do with me living here. Fair enough, I suppose.

*

I was glad to get out of school for two weeks because my stench of academic failure had pretty much reached its peak. I'm pretty sure I'm failing at least two classes. Apparently, if you don't do work, your grades tend to slip. The good news is that Mr. King assigned the class a 350 point project that could pull even the most mentally impaired students out of a grade slump.

My grade for this was 0/350. I suppose that not doing the project at all was the worst course possible choice I could've made while working on it.

I cannot remember the first few days of Christmas break at all. I'm pretty sure plenty of hot chocolate was involved, and I wouldn't be too surprised if I hooked up with a couple of fine biddies. (NOTE: Typing in "biddy" to Wikipedia and Dictionary sources leads to chicken-related articles. THIS IS NOT THE BIDDY I MEANT.)

I do know that, at some point, I went out Christmas shopping with Rick and his friend Phil. Phil was an all around swell fella, who did not find my antics as off-putting as people generally should. I established that I was an idiot with him rather early when walking up to the Muncie Mall. I saw a figure coming through the door at me, and I assumed it to be my reflection. For some reason, I assumed my reflection had a denim jacket and a moustache. I promptly bumped into some random person. I'm not bright.

We all settled in at Rick's house later that night. We talked for a while, and Phil enthusiastically took one of the Zune display cases I had so proudly stolen.

I had a pretty plain Christmas at home. I got some books and DVDs, but the majority of my gifts came in the form of money. Later that night, me, Rick, Jesska, and Chris headed out to Muncie to catch Juno. It was the grandest movie I've seen since Roadhouse - which I once considered one of the greatest films ever made.

I had my MRI a couple of days after Christmas. I didn't like it.

New Year's Eve and the following day were both glorious. The delicious combination of video games and breadsticks were had. Jesska brought over a pretty rad show called Ranma 1/2, and we even got to catch some Mr. Show reruns. Chris and I stayed the night at Rick's, and I'm sure some awesome stuff happened the following day. Really, the only notable thing I can currently think of from New Year's Day is the horrendously creepy 93.9 - a recently purchased radio station that decided to fill some time until its "premiere" by playing a looping song that involved a piano, ducks, and drowning noises. Jesska and I were quite horrified. We became even more worried once discovering that every station we listened to afterward had creepy songs about death and destruction play.

A fun end to a fun day.

Later on, Rick, Jesska, Chris, and Megan picked me up. We spent most of the day at Rick's house, where I managed to give my tongue third-degree burns on a ceramic heater. But man, it would have been fuckin' awesome if someone had put their tongue on that thing. Also, we tried to make a new Lambchop video but ended up just rambling about randomly.

At some point, we all looked at scary/gross pictures online. These became a bit much, so we looked at funny pictures.

Chris decided at some point later on in the week that it would be a good idea to annoy Jesska (as well as Rick and me, to some extent) by begging her to watch the Blair Witch Project and playing loudly with the cat as the rest of tried to watch one of her movies. Chris left shortly after the movie was over.

Jesska, Rick, and I settled in to watch some Unsolved Mysteries. The selected episodes were all pretty disappointing for the most part.

Rick, Chris, and I had a bit of a shopping spree the last night of the break. I bought a bunch of clothes (a t-shirt, some shoes, and a bitchin' jacket) and a Mad Max DVD. Me and Chris "brainstormed" on some new project that will probably waste what little spare time I currently have left.

I've been thinking a lot lately - too much, probably. Not necessarily depressing stuff, mind you, but stuff that I'll have to make decisions in the very near future. The sort of stuff that'll probably affect my life in ways I can't even imagine. College, my future job, people I know, etc. My head just can't sit still. Apparently this is contagious. Someone I know recently commented, in a way that was only subtly bitter, "you make me think too much." Fair enough.

I'm pretty content with things though. I currently have a lot of questions in my head, but I feel that, as of now, I'm perfectly fine living with them.

Also, my dad sent me a groovy drawing he did of Spanish ships landing in America. And my tongue is currently purple because my brother picked me up some Bubblicious INK'd.

Things are good.

P.S. OH AND I TOTALLY MADE SOME S'MORES AT SOME POINT

I haven't written in a while. I would like to say that this is only because nothing of note has happened over the past week, but it has more to do with my laziness than anything else. In fact, many interesting things have happened. I took my first steps last Monday and completed my first sentence last Tuesday. For some reason, the fact that I am not a child makes this largely uninteresting to people. The people who do find it interesting keep asking me to send pictures of me in diapers for "private purposes".

I will be obliging those requests after this post.

I'll just start off with Friday. Chris picked up Rick and me, and the three of us headed off to do some stuff. We stopped by Dave's where Jesska made sure to find all sorts of ways to mock me. On the plus side, Donald told me that he would vote for me if I ever ran for office. I might be being a little hasty here, but I believe this was largely because I managed to part my hair in a way young, conservative, political hopefuls can only dream of. I am not sure how me looking like the typical Republican child matches up with Donald's hippie philosophies, but I imagine he was also largely enticed by my campaign van full of candy and unicorns.

All my unicorns died because they were not really unicorns. They were pretty little bugs I found on the ground, and I did not feed the bugs, and then they died. Sorry, pretty little baby bugs. :(

We ran out to get Jesska some sort of fancy drinkable coffee contraption before going out to get ourselves Pizza Hut. We stood for about five or so minutes before someone ambled over to seat us. We did not have any pens for the place mats, so we had to spend the majority of our time waiting on the food talking - as if that's ever been more fun than finding all the things wrong in a picture of a tough cowboy fellow. The stuffed crust pizza looked about as appealing as the mangina folds on Louie Anderson's lower stomach, but it tasted like some sort of magical dreamboat that you could eat. What a delicious, delicious dreamboat.

I had two and a half slices, plus a couple of breadsticks.

While we were there, an absolutely huge father and son duo sat down next to us. These people were at least seven feet tall, and I wanted to climb on both of their backs. It's nothing sexual, I just feel secure in high areas where I can look down upon all my potential enemies.

We went to the mall shortly after. I don't really remember what happened there (a side effect of the opium, I hear), except that we saw a very old, tall guy in the line for Santa. I imagine he must've been the grandfather of the two people we had seen earlier and wondered why they weren't spending their Holiday Timez together. Poor, lonely, tall people.

After that, we went to Rick's. All I remember there is the lovely disappointment thrust upon Chris as he discovered that no Rock Band would be played. After that, who knows what happened.

We had canceled trips to both Rick's aunt's house and the Marion Festival of Lights because there was supposedly a huge snow storm coming. In the end, this snow storm measured about three inches, and there was only a thin layer of ice on the roads. Not that that made the job of driving any more fun for Jesska. Oh, we still went over to Rick's - hoping to get snowed in. There we spent most of the day watching the Girls Next Door and Moulin Rouge. Since my memory isn't all that well, all I can say is that I believe Moulin Rouge ends with Hugh Hefner killing Nicole Kidman for mocking his circular bed. Also, he somehow kills her with tuberculosis. This is why you don't fuck with old people: disease.

We went out to pick up Jesska's cousin Sophie later in the night. She seemed tolerant enough of my insanity and ranting, though I'm not sure why. We also watched Peter Jackson's Heavenly Creatures, which is a delightful coming-of-age comedy about friendship, tuberculosis (DAMMIT HEFNER), and bricks in stockings. After this, we all decided to retire for the night so that we could save up all our energy for doing absolutely nothing the following morning.

And day.

And evening.

I started work on an article for Cracked.com - about the five most badass apocalypse scenarios. I will not get paid for this article in any way whatsoever, but there's a thing worth more than all the money in the world: ghost blowjobs.

I will not be getting ghost blowjobs either... not without the power of my imagination, at least.

Today I got a metal rod for myself. I took it from Mr. Smith's class after repeatedly telling him "I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS ROD" AND "I WILL BEAT UNCOUNTABLE AMOUNTS OF HOMELESS PEOPLE WITH THIS THING" and "IF YOU LET ME LEAVE THE CLASSROOM WITH THIS, I GUARANTEE I WILL LEAVE A LARGE NUMBER OF DEAD IN MY WAKE". He did not respond, so I took the rod. I promptly left it in Cole's car.

Changed into some casual clothes at Rick's before heading over to play with Young Master Gilbert's new Wii. I have discovered I am good at virtual bowling. I am not good at regular bowling, so I am glad the Wii realizes I deserve more out of life.

We all headed out to have dinner at Pizza King with Jesska, Megan, and Samn. Chris held my hand multiple times as went over some trying terrain. I'm not gay, but I see no wrong in humoring the boy. I also see no wrong in the fact that we briefly ballroom danced to Jingle Bell Rock. The two breadsticks I ate are currently beating my insides like angry Ukrainian children who have just been discovered they are being organ harvested.

After that, we went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. The movie was surprisingly decent, though it's admittedly a lot more fun if you just pretend Jason Lee and David Cross are crazy hobos fighting over a shoe box of dead rodents. Also, there were some annoying kids there who were either really terrified of singing chipmunks or just plain old idiots.

Oh, I got to sing a bit today as well. ROCKSTARDOM HERE I COMEZ.

Thursday night, I discovered that my blood test results, though all negative, were not satisfactory in convincing the doctors that I was not dying of syphilis or some other disease becoming of a whoremonger like myself (cancer may very well be an STD, new studies show). Within the next two or three weeks, I will be placed within a large box that will pump me full of all sorts of scientific rays and whatnot to see if I am dying. If I do not take the test, I will never know I'm dying. If I take the test, I may find that out. I have no idea why I'm taking this fucking test.

Of course, it's more than likely that this is all the result of stress, as I absolutely love to slap myself in the emotional balls whenever I get the chance. Most people do heroin or something else productive when they have urges they need to fulfill - I think of all the ways I've been a disappointment lately. If I haven't been a disappointment lately, I set out to make myself one. I feel this is a great way to make friends who will remember me as "that guy we hated" forever.

Being miserable is a bit fun, in my defense.

Thursday night, we saw the movie Awake. I'm not entirely sure as I was distracted by all the pretty whites and blues, but I'm pretty sure Hayden Christiansen made his heart sad by having his mom kill his Santa Dad. This made him so sick that a doctor and a lady decided to murder him during doctor timez and take away his money. I enjoyed this movie because there was lots of sounds and things to look at. Jesska and Rick seem displeased with the movie, and I almost asked them if they hadn't seen all the whites and blues but thought better of it because diversity is what makes the world go 'round as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. used to say. I highly recommend seeing Awake if you enjoy seeing moderately interesting things acted out by mediocre actors.

This was also the night I realized that the three week project I was supposed to finish for Government AP (also, "start") had been neglected to be brought home. Er, the papers necessary for it that is. The following day, I was miraculously struck by a headache that made it nigh impossible for me to make it through school. I had to bear the shame of letting the esteemed Mr. Frederick King down. He doesn't actually know or care about me, but I keep a sketchbook of drawings I do of me and him hanging out and eating ice cream together and watching Hook together. Fortunately, Rick told me that Mr. King was in a rather jolly mood that day and decided only a letter grade would be deducted off of late papers.

Instead of working on school stuff, I wrote another song - "This Box". I'm not going to post the lyrics here because, though I admit to plenty of things that are morally and legally questionable, I will not admit to writing this song and then posting it. Also, I have forgotten how to copy and paste text.

I watched House of Sand and Fog Friday afternoon. I imagined it to be a pretty typical drama and got probably one of the hardest ball kickings of all time. Horrible stuff happens to good people, people make jackasses of themselves, and lots of sadness is had. I decided to remedy this by watching Babe. The scene where Farmer Hoggett starts dancing and singing to cheer Babe up actually had me singing and dancing, though this doesn't mean much as even the theme song to Reading Rainbow gets me to do this.

And people think I'm gay.

Friday night, Jesska was kind enough to pick me up after work and drive me to Rick's house. There I got to show Rick's mom my shameful, shameful MySpace galleries as breadsticks were had. I actually had an interesting round of discussion with people for once, but that was quickly aborted when Chris decided he had to play Rock Band. Naturally, Rick and I had to join him. I actually scored the highest I have on vocals for once (95% for Creep - oddly fitting). Even Jesska briefly got into the Rock Band spirit, singing a very nice cover of Hole's Celebrity Skin. She has not done anything with the game since, though she seemed to enjoy it, whether she'll admit it or not. After that, we all decided to lay on Rick's bed for some reason.

We found this to be very humorous for no reason in particular.

I got stuck lying next to the very lovely Chris, who proceeded to spoon me at least twice before deciding we should just try and lie bum to bum. Feets pictures were taken. Face pictures were taken. Too many fucking laughs were had over the most mundane, absurd situation ever. We're not quite right in the head, you see.

Chris decided to be a pansy and hit the ol' bedstack early, despite not having work at all the following day. Clips of the Golden Girls and Daria were watched once he had retired to the sanctuary of the living room. Because he does not have nearly enough body fat to survive the cold, winter harshness of lying on the ground, he got the couch. I was stuck on the floor, on a makeshift bed made out of one blanket and two pillows. I did have a stuffed t-rex named Jeremiah to accompany me, though, so I suppose things were not entirely bleak.

It was not until about six in the morning that I discovered that the blanket I was using could unfold so as to cover my entire body. I slept about thirty minutes to an hour throughout the entire night. The rest of this time was spent either staring at the ceiling or watching muted "This Old House". In the morning, When the time was ready, I decided to wake Chris with a lovely cocktail of screaming me and stuffed rooster cawing. Christopher was a reasonable man about all of this and dealt with me like a gentleman. How I long for him to just fucking punch me.

He tried to get me to play that Table Tennis game with him but was eager (almost suspiciously so) to find that I would rather play Rock Band with him. So I did. I discovered that I can easily pass "In Bloom" by singing in the most offensively, stereotypically gay voice possible, and most songs can be passed if I just sing in a very soft, almost inaudible voice. The game has decided that it enjoys hearing me sing as quietly as possible or as ridiculously as possible. A wise choice. Rick emerged soon, and eventually Dillon found his way over. We all spent way, way too long playing a game where you use fake instruments to cover old songs. More than a three or four hours, at least.

After this, Chris decided that we should probably eat. For once, I found this to be a rather agreeable idea. We had Burger King, and man, that place filled us with all sorts of weird, morbid vibes. The entire dinner was spent discussing serial killers, mass murders, and deformities. I'm not sure if this is a step up or down from talking primarily about wangs and titties, but thankfully it never got to the point where they were all on the same level (serial wangs, mass titties, etc.). After this, we headed to Target. Chris actually managed to make me proud by picking up A Clockwork Orange on DVD for only about fifteen bucks, and Rick and me got to check out sweaters for our Christmas card.

Also, they had replaced the Zune display case I had borrowed. This is a decision they will come to regret. It's a slap in the face, really.

We briefly stopped by my house to pick up some money and Tales from the Crypt DVDs. I had completely forgotten that Tales from the Crypt is actually funny moreso than anything else. In a little more than an hour, we got to enjoy Bobcat Goldthwait fighting a deformed baby-thing, an old black guy beating his nephew into paralysis with a crowbar, and some guy getting stuck "alive" in a dead body. This was all very sophisticated entertainment, as you can tell. After this, Rick and me showed Chris some of the weird happenings at the Denver International Airport, and I was a little sad to see that HORRIFYING WAR FIGURE actually dies at the end of the mural. I will remember you fondly, HWF.

Somehow this lead to us watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 shorts. Neither Rick nor Chris had ever really gotten to watch the show, but both seemed to enjoy it a lot. Of course, their laughter may have also had something to do with sleep deprivation and general insanity. I laughed because I just like the idea of robot puppets. It's almost redundant - but not quite. This is clever to me, you see. Tippy tried to get me to play with her mop. I was flattered by the offer but had to turn it down multiple times.

Chris drove Rick and me home not long after. It was nice to find that, unlike Cole, Chris can actually speak to me like we're both human beings. This means that the ride home was not filled with only the beating of our hearts and the silent screaming of the pity of dead men. I do not enjoy alone rides with Cole, in case you can't tell. How convenient it is that I'll probably never have one with him again.

When I got home, I discovered that my brother has been eating plums or... some other weird little fruit. I have no fucking clue why he is doing this. Why would you eat this? THERE'S ONE JUST LAYING IN THE FUCKING TRASH - WHOLE. WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM.

FUCK

Most of today was either boring or unpleasant. I discovered that Cole, who was originally going to pay for a quarter or so of Rock Band, has arbitrarily decided to back out on the deal. He went through a few excuses, such as "you didn't even need the money" and "I paid for the gas anyway" (oh, he volunteered to drive and didn't mention gas money at all until this point). Now he's outright refusing to pay anything, and I'm more than a little pissed.

I made a loverly portrait of Rick, Jesska, Chris and me today. I would upload it, but the camera's shitting up for some random reason, and I don't have a scanner.

Just imagine the most awesome, beautiful thing you've ever seen. Like an eagle majestically ejaculating on the Statue of the Liberty. That's how wonderful this portrait is.

Later tonight, Jesska and I went out to Steak 'n Shake. Once there, she proceeded to insult my fat wang, insinuate things that could get friends fired, and mocked the portrait (which I spent days on). I ordered fries... and she ate most of them. Not that I was going to, anyway. A friend of hers showed up, and they proceeded to gang up on me and ask me why I was sad. I explained that I really wasn't sad, but if I was, it was probably Jesska's fault.

And so it is.

Jesska made sure that everyone knew I "was sad" over my fat wang. My wang is not fat, people. It's slightly above average in a way most would think of as meaningless. It is not some sort of Redwood that you need to protect from WANG DEFORESTATION or anything. Leave it alone. It cried tonight. Well, it either cried or peed a little. Maybe a little bit of both.

I also gots ketchups and paid bills. I am not good at that second thing, but I was decent with the first (probably because I was a ketchup carrier for some time in the Junior Navy).

On the plus side, I actually got to leave the house tonight. And they played some rad music in that there place.

She took me home - but not before she filled the car with the arousing aroma of a Steak 'n Shake-induced fart.

I am not sure if I'm looking forward to more playdates... I'll probably go anyway.

Apparently, I have to do some weirdass test no one's told me about on Thursday and Friday. That's about all for school.

Rick and me walked to Jesska's after school so that the FUN TIMEZ could start immediately. Rick discovered that he would have to be home by seven, a curfew that put a damper on a lot of possibilities for the night. We called Chris up so that the original gang could get back together to hang out. He expressed a desire to play Rock Band almost instantly. I felt lukewarm about this, and it was obvious Jesska looked forward to no such thing.

Before doing anything else, we had to be fed. A car ride over to Pizza King ended with us debating what constitutes "titty kissing". I wanted to believe I was a titty kisser so bad (I still do, a little) but apparently Webster's Dictionary describes it as being "right on 'em nips". FUCK DAT. Not only was my titty kissings called into question, but my wang suffered humiliation as it was called fat multiple times.

THE BREADSTICKS WERE SEASONED WELL. NO DISAPPOINTMENTZ WAS HAD IN THAT RESPECT.

We went back to Jesska's house afterwards so we could think of things to do. Thinking is hard and most of that time was spent on the internet - where I hear they now have pornography. I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds as "hep" as these fancy "jazz cigarettes" all the kids are smoking. Such dank, dank jazz cigarettes.

We settled on going out to Gay Park where hopefully we would be raped and plundered by savages or bears or something. I punched Chris multiple times and threw him into a park bench. That was pretty hilarious, even though he was actually injured. I made up for it by being a good Papa Bear and pushing Brother Bear on the swings. He flew like a little angel. We also got to walk down a heap big staircase.

A bunch of stoners parked alongside our car. They did not rape us, sadly enough. Though I must admit, they seemed to have some pretty dank shit.

After that, we headed over to Rick's house to play some Rock Band. I was okay enough with playing the guitar, though I preferred singing. Jesska enjoyed my rendition of "When You Were Young" so much that she threw food at me. I also made new records with "Blitzkrieg Bop" and "Don't Fear the Reaper". Rick's mom ended up extending the amount of time we all could stay. I noticed Jesska seemed pretty bored, and I was growing tired with the game too, so I suggested we do some Lamb Chop videos.

And what horrifying, horrifying videos they were. Vietnam flashbacks, wangs in buttholes, begging fathers for forgiveness, etc. We're not well, you have to remember.

Chris makes a good straight man, though, and he totally let my hand make out with him.

After that, we all went home and lived happily ever after.

I've been worrying a lot lately about different stuff. My grades have settled into this area where they're tolerable, but I'm always going to have to be on my toes just to pass. I'm having some weirdass medical problems that could be entirely caused by stress (which some would call fortunate). I often have headaches or am dizzy. My stomach always feels just a little bit upset. Sometimes I throw up. Sometimes my nose bleeds. Sometimes I fall down. I have discovered the throwing up can be solved by simply not eating much, and that the headaches can be ignored. Nose bleeds aren't too common, and my falls aren't really full-on collapses or anything. I think I might be doing okay for someone who's supposedly pretty sick.

I've been missing a lot of old friends lately. Some of them I don't even know how to find right now. Some of them seem hesitant to talk about me. They remember who I used to be - they don't want me to be a part of their lives anymore. Understandable. Some of them still care for me but are nervous about the feelings I stir up in them. Some of them get over that. I got to talk to someone special today - a conversation that relieved me but also managed to disappoint me a little.

I have a lot of good friends. I have a lot of mediocre "fans". I have a family that finally seems to have some sympathy for me.

Why do I feel so alone right now?

Eh, I'm sounding overly emotional and just ridiculous, and I haven't told a joke yet. Guess I should just tie things here.

(P.S. NOT GAY)

(P.S.S. MAYBE FOR COLE A LIL')

Took the Color Quiz.

Your Existing Situation:
The existing situation contains critical or dangerous elements for which it is imperative that some solution be found. This may lead to sudden, even reckless, decisions. Self-willed and rejects any advice from others.

Your Stress Sources:
Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates him and inhibits his readiness to give himself freely. While he wants to surrender and let himself go, he regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, he feels, will lift him above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics:
An unadmitted lack of confidence makes him careful to avoid open conflict and he feels he must make the best of things as they are.

Trying to calm down and unwind after a period of over-agitation which has left him listless and devoid of energy. In need of peace and quiet; becomes irritable if this is denied him.

Your Desired Objective:
Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feeling into which he can blend. Responsive to anything aesthetic and tasteful.

Your Actual Problem:
Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.

The past two days have not been very good to me, but, in Allah's defense, I am a horrible person.

I woke up feeling completely emotionally drained Tuesday morning. I decided this was a good excuse to skip school. I am a fucking idiot. That was a horrible idea. I got to sit at home all day, alone, and stew in my own misery. Despite missing school, I was forced to attend my nephew's birthday party. I was okay with the basic idea of this, as I hadn't really gotten to see my nephew(s) and sister for some time. I barely got to see him at the party, being squashed in a corner booth at the back of the party area.

I did get to hear my grandpa tell a joke, though.

"I had a birthday once, too."

It was good. I think I was the only one who realized he was joking and, in fact, was not senile.

My brother had a funny incident, coming in from basketball practice. He had been told to ask an employee where [Name] Party was. The last name of the parents and child? Poole. So, through fortune and fate, my brother ended up asking an IHOP employee where the Poole Party was.

There goes most of the happy times for the night.

I disappointed a friend, but we got to talking and worked some kinks out anyway. That was nice.

I then disappointed her again by missing out on school, despite promising to go anyway.

I threw up seven or so times today (depending on whether or not you count the little vomit hiccup things). None of the over-the-counter medicine we had worked. I ended up making a doctor's appointment, one that I now regret making. It started with us talking about my stomach, but I mentioned some of the other things I've been experiencing (like the headaches and nosebleeds) and now they want me to be tested for a bunch of shit. I was going to do a blood test tomorrow, but I got it moved to Saturday morning, as the fasting and early morning testing conflicts with my regular weekday schedule.

I'm pretty fucking disappointed with my little shit of a body right now, and my mind isn't performing too fantastically either. I've spent most of the past two days alone.

On the plus side, pretty much every Seinfeld episode shown in the past two days has been fucking awesome to the max.

GEORGE COSTANZA APPRECIATIONZ

Since Cole was unwilling to drive me anywhere, and Chris is still ignoring Rick and me as hard as he can, I decided today would be a fine day to throw on some eyeliner, throw on my black tee, and march on over to Dave's Video to visit Jesska and Joey Bear. They were surprised not only at my walking there, but at the fact that I did so in the rain without a jacket. FUCK JACKETZ. We talked, and I was eventually forced into the Porn Room, encountering within it such wonderful features as "King of Sting" and "Stop! My Ass is on Fire!". It was a horrifying experience, as if my uncle's bedroom nightstand had expanded into an entire room.

I eventually left it, getting to watch "Seed of Chucky" on the special t.v. under the counter (I got to sit on a stool!). Many interludes had to be made because of potentially offended customers, including the arrival of my adopted son, Kevin Smith. Kevin was a good boy for his Pop Pop and did not rent any R-rated movies or video games. God bless his little heart. At some point, Jesska and I went out to get some food from King Gyros. I GOTS A ORANGE FANTA. Songs were sung, poorly and loudly.

Around closing time, I decided to help with things around the place. Jesska had some trouble with some returned porn videos, prompting Joey and me to go to the back room with her to check in on things. We all scurried out in a way that probably seemed suspicious as a customer came in. My family came to pick me up, fearful that I might engage in sex or drugs on the walk home. Jesska briefly considered having me murdered by my family by announcing her being pregnant by me, but she let me off with just a weird glance out the door at the car.

Not long after getting home, I got to engage in lovely conversations like this

Jesska: i'm learning about how to locate my vagina
Me: Have you found it yet?
Jesska: well
Jesska: these pictures are helpful
Me: Keep on reaching for those stars.
Jesska: this all looks like hairy roast beef to me

And then a picture of a woman menstruating was sent to me.

"So it goes."

The break got off to a good start with Rick and me walking to Jesska's house immediately after school. We had just discovered that Chris was still hanging out with Alan and Co. and were naturally disappointed in him. Still, we didn't care too much. We'd already made plans to go out with Jesska and her visiting friend Megan. We hung around Jesska's briefly before going out on the town. Before doing anything, we made sure to make plans with Chris - plans we all knew we would bail on.

He bailed on our bailing out.

Anyway, we went to a dollar store and picked up some slammin' Jumex and Bazooka Joe gum (SPOILERZ: turns out that Mort practices hiding from girls). We also went by Target to look at all the fabulous things Target has to offer, such as clocks and Slim Jims. I don't think we actually bought anything there, though.

After this, we headed to Applewood theater to catch The Brave One. What a wonderful film. I got to see Jodie Foster kill people in all sorts of fun, ridiculous ways, and I didn't even mind that I was the only one there who found her hot for a lesbian. We had the theater to ourselves, meaning much SCREAMING TIMEZ was had. Also, there was a puppy named Curtis. I LOVE CURTIS

We went to Pizza King for dinner, arranging new plans for Chris to meet us at another Pizza King. Pizza King's breadsticks were as delicious as usual, and photographs that will more than likely get me jailed if I ever visit certain countries in Asia were taken. I am sorry, Asian people. Chris called us, worried for our safety and wondering where we'd gone.

Laughs were had.

We dropped Megan off shortly after and retired to Baby Bear's house. I couldn't go home until later because of Thanksgiving preparations, but we had a good time at his place anyway, and we made a couple more Lambchop videos.

---

On Thanksgiving, I decided to go along with my family to my aunt's. In the food line, I accidentally took a meat serving fork from the turkey tray instead of a real one. Thinking something wrong and comparing my new fork with my brother's, I realize what mistake I had made and promptly returned the fork to a very annoyed line of relatives. I sat down to a table after getting my own fork, looking up to notice my brother coming over with one for me and himself, and then noticing that there was already silverware laid out on the tables.

He laughed to the point of tears. Idiocy may actually be genetic.

That was all that really went on there.

Later I was able to actually have dinner with people who tolerate my company (and aren't siblings). We were originally going to go to Cracker Barrel, but I canceled those plans, assuming Rick had gone with relatives and knowing Jesska (as well as myself) hates country style food. I just wanted things to be Thanksgivingsy. We settled on the next fanciest restaurant in all the land: White Castle. We were like knights of old at that castle. I ate some fries, too.

After that, we headed for the Mall to see the Mist. It was actually a decent movie (CGI aside), but the ending pretty much horrified Jesska for life. I was pumped just to see the bigass motherfucker at the end. When I returned home, I soon discovered Jesska had spent some time looking up plot holes to the movie, possibly to make herself feel better about it. An admirable attempt at setting things right.

---

BLACK FRIDAY ALREADY BEEN DONE, FELLA

---

Yesterday, Rick's mom was kind enough to pick me up and take me out Wii hunting with them. Dave's actually had a used one in, but she was nervous about buying it because of the store's no return policy. I got to watch pretty colors move about on a t.v. screen. When we headed to GameStop for a Wii, they laughed at us. Wonderful service people.

We headed to Rick's where I got to watch me some RoboCop while he simulated a miserable life as a Chinese girl on Real Lives 2007. He was raped once, his entire biological family died long before him, and his only chance at happiness (some dapper, wealthy chap who took a fancy with him) died a year after their marriage. It's an uplifting game.

Jesska came over towards the end of RoboCop and decided to override my plans of Dracula with Sailor Moon. I got yelled at and punched a few times. Later, hentai was watched and laughs were had. Good times for all.

Before heading home, I made the mistake of mentioning a past incident of titty kissing in front of her. She proceeded to laugh about the phrase "titty kissing" (and my history with it) most of the ride. We were also hungry, so we got to go to McDonald's and deal with some loverly black workers who probably thought we were stoned out of our minds. We were high on life, people. I ate some FRIEZ AND CHICKENZ. I also got a pretty rad Bee Movie toy. Jokes were made about my titty kissing, and I was called a "baby perv" for having had hormones at some point in my life.

I arrived at home shortly before three in the morning.

---

Today was pretty boring. Aside from writing the complete lyrics to Whores of the Holocaust, talking to Rick and Jesska online, and reading "Breakfast of Champions", not much was done.

"And so on."

Black Friday was a fun day.

Rick, Cole, and I decided it'd be best to hit as many department stores as humanly possible. We stopped by Dave's to visit Jesska and Joey Bear briefly, before going over to the dollar store in the same plaza. There we picked up supplies for our perilous journey (a pen and some notepads). By the end of the trip, we would forget about these supplies altogether, choosing instead to write with the power of our mindz and heartz.

In the car, I made out a list on the notepad for things we should buy while out. The list is as follows:

LIST:
- gum

No gum would be bought that night.

We stopped by Walmart first, only to discover that many of the shoppers had already retired home to cum over their George Foreman grills they had gotten for AN EIGHTH OFF. There was still a large number of people rifling through the five dollar movie bin - idiots believing themselves to have caught a real deal, not realizing the bin is there year round. The toy section was ridiculously crowded, and we had to dodge an alarming amount of Fat Bitches on Rascals™. We emerged gumless but not entirely distraught - we got ourselves a Dracula four pack (all starring CHRISTOPHER LEE, all produced by HAMMER FILMS).

I have yet to watch my Draculaz.

Afterwards, we headed over to Kohl's to see if Mr. Wegner was there. He was, but he was also in pursuit of some mysterious old woman with an Old Navy bag. He only talked to us briefly, but I was too distracted by his bitchin' headset to help with finding the woman.

After this, we went to Target, probably the most boring part of the evening. In fact, I cannot remember anything of note happening there. Creepy bathrooms, though.

We headed over to eat at Pizza Hut. We got awesome place mats (MINE WAS ZOO THEMED - yay) and sat next to the hugest fucking group of Presbyterians I've ever seen (I think, in groups like this, they are called a "gaggle"). Fortunately, the unholy figure of Cole was enough to distract them from me this time. We had a nice lady for a waitress and I actually ate some pizza. The pizza was okay, and the breadsticks were tolerable (for Pizza Hut, that is).

We headed over to the mall afterwards and were able to get Rick's out time extended. We stopped by WaldenBooks, where I briefly considered buying "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants". I settled on Kurt Vonnegut's "Breakfast of Champions" instead, a book I've only partially read. Cole asked me to recommend him something related to science fiction, and I went through the section (which only had one fucking Asimov - a copy of I, Robot printed for the movie) explaining to him stuff about the various books. I suggested Bradbury's "The Illustrated Man" (I love the short, "The Veldt"). He almost took it but spotted "Cryptonomicron" and decided to pick it up instead. I feel guilty for letting him buy it, because I'm pretty sure it will murder him with boringness.

We headed to Goodwill afterwards and finally bought my Tad Birchwood jacket. I wanted to get my gloves, but I have kept them at Rick's as I fear leaving behind yet more (false) evidence to give my family reason to believe I'm gay. I also got some pretty rad glasses, though it seems I would not be wearing them much.

Tad was not yet complete. I still needed eyeliner. Naturally, we went to where everyone goes for their glam-rock make-up: Meijer. I almost collapsed once there, but I assume most people were distracted by me seeing stuffed ducks and screaming "I'D CUM IN THAT DUCK'S BUTT". I was not well that night, as my syphilis was giving me a spot of trouble. Rick suggested dark brown eyeliner, but I told him that brown was a poop color and I wadn't gonna be rubbin' no poop anywhere near MAH eyes.

Also, I unintentionally stole one of those chained pens from some contest sign-up thing. I'm pretty hardcore, in case you can't tell.

I put my make-up on in the car (apparently wrongly at first - I is not good with make-up) and dressed in the parking lot of Southdale Plaza. I was set to perform at Bounce City, but I got distracted by the wonderful people in Dave's Video. This was the top of the night, standing in there, creeping out passerby, and talking about how many warm cunts my hand had been in that day. I even sung a little bit of "Whores of the Holocaust".

Afterwards, we all parted for home.

Black Friday was a fun day.

So after the speech meet, Rick, Jesska, Chris, and me basically drove around trying to scrounge up enough to have fun in Muncie. Chris wanted to buy a Wii, Jesska wanted to go to a movie, Rick was going to get a new laptop, and I just wanted fun times. Chris had to ask the family dog if he could spend his money on the Wii, there were problems with the bank, something happened with some of Jesska's money, Rick had to borrow his mom's debit card, and I had much less money than I would require for such a shopping extravaganza.

Fortunately, we miraculously got our shit together and were on our way.

The ride to Muncie was, thanks to the glorious wizards of Nightwish, quite epic. Me and Chris sung of the awesome and majestic power of Cole as the actual lyrics to the song (Ghost Love Score) are largely incomprehensible. Once in Muncie, we immediately headed to Best Buy. Chris was disappointed (WII DISAPPOINTMENTZ) to discover that the Wiis had all sold out. Rick was more fortunate, finding a laptop he wanted almost immediately. I got an unpleasant phone call (this is where I stop being fun for the rest of the night), but, on the other hand, I did get to watch someone playing Rock Band. It looked a little sketchy, but I've heard mostly good things about it.

After this, we went to the mall. Hot Topic had an awesome pair of fingerless, studded, leather gloves that I had to buy for my good friend Tad Birchwood. The others got some decent clothes, and I got to see an elderly woman be forcibly pushed into the store on a wheelchair. Awesome. We stopped by Spenser's/Spencer's/Fartz and Dickz Inc. afterwards, and Jesska got a Christopher Walken shirt. That was all that really happened there.

Looked for the new League of Extraordinary Gentlemen at a bookstore. They did not have it. A very dizappointing scone was bought, and it was promptly thrown away.

Rick set the basics for his laptop up on the ride over to Anderson, we got to his house, he had to hook the internet up, Chris and me watched a bunch of Family Guy episodes, Jesska slept, and later in the night we all watched the UNFORGIVABLE videos plus some other stuff.

I was boring Saturday. Sorry guys.

Sunday, the best thing done was our Lambchop videos (in Jesska's LJ - everyone reading this will know how to get there). Aside from that, me and Jesska went out Fazoli's and dined with a fine group of Presbyterians. Well, adjacent to a fine group of Presbyterians. Who were frightened of us (Jesska's pretty cotton candy hair and the fact that I look like I had just awakened from a dead pile of hookers was obvious proof of our godlessness).

However, many fine things were learned about lemonade and the Holocaust. Good times all around.